Ring Bearer (sort of)

Isaiah Colley-Robinson

Middlebury, Vermont

Isaiah is our Godson and favorite little tyke around! He is brother to Chelsea (flower girl) and son of Jill and John-Eric (Ben's sister and brother-in-law). We're not certain that he'll be comfortable walking down the isle with Chelsea because he won't even be two by the time of the wedding, but he will be part of the wedding party. John-Eric may hold him or he might just walk around and check things out...we'll have to see how he's feeling on the day of. Jill bought him the CUTEST outfit though- it almost brought tears to my eyes!

The $2000 Wedding

Unfortunately for us, my parents, and Ben's parents, our wedding budget is not $2000! But I LOVE the blog http://2000dollarwedding.com/. The author is honest, writes well, and has so many unique, budget-friendly ideas. I want to share a recent entry that had an impact. I think I plan to "walk down the isle" because I think I want to, but anyway, read on...

When I was a Women & Gender Studies minor in college, I learned about a whole host of societal rules that I wanted to break.

That's why I was completely and utterly shocked when I found myself in the midst of wedding planning, trying to follow all sorts of rules as closely as possible.

For example, I was desperately trying to figure out how to follow the "Thou shalt walk down the aisle" rule. Every wedding I had ever been to, ever watched on television, ever seen featured in a magazine, or ever dreamed about involved an aisle. And the formal music was supposed to play while everyone else stood up and I smiled blithely and walked toward my husband-to-be.

Unfortunately, I couldn't figure out how to manifest the vision. We got married outside, by a lake, while our guests were supposed to sit at picnic tables. There was no aisle through the picnic tables. Period.

I fretted about what I was supposed to do. I tried desperately to rent one of the cabins near the ceremony spot so I could hide in there until the big reveal. I thought about hiding behind a car. I thought about making everyone sit sideways on the benches so I could walk between them.

In other words, I spent an inordinate amount of time worried about how to conform to the way-a-wedding-is-supposed-to-be.

When I finally reached a proverbial wall, I realized, "Wait a second. I don't even want to walk down an aisle!"

Light bulb!

Of course lots of people want to walk down the aisle for various reasons, but I truly did not. I didn't want to be the sole center of attention. I didn't want to feel like everyone was attuned to every detail of my hair, dress, makeup. That's just me.

I finally came to my senses and realized, "I don't have to follow anyone else's rules. This is our wedding. Our celebration. Our commitment. We can do it our way (even if people get a little freaked out)."

So, we did the only thing that made sense for us as couple: We pulled up to the ceremony site in my Toyota Scion xA (I was driving) and got out. We walked toward the crowd that had started to gather and simply started talking to people. Easy peasy.

I immediately saw one of my long-time friends who had not been able to arrive in time for the Welcome Picnic the day before. When I saw him, I was ecstatic. That hug felt so good. I also chatted more with my family members, explained my dress to folks who asked, and even engaged in a heartfelt conversation with one of my grandfathers about the importance of the jewelry he had donated to the creation of our rings.

If I had been inside, waiting for everyone to arrive and settle in, I probably would have been a ball of nerves. I would have been dreading that walk down the aisle. Instead, I was just hanging out with my friends, laughing, talking, hugging.

When it was time to start, we pressed play on our iPod, and everyone in the wedding party made their way to the front. When we were there, someone stopped the music and the ceremony started.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not criticizing those of you who are going to walk down the aisle (or have already done so). I imagine there are all sorts of reasons why it's a desirable option. I imagine that it can provide an intense moment of quiet intention. It can be reflective. It can be incredibly meaningful for you and your family members.

It just wasn't what I wanted, and yet I was so concerned with what others thought I ought to have at my wedding that it took me a while to realize it. In fact, I may never have let myself realize it if our venue had had a veritable aisle.

My reason for writing this post is to challenge all of us to examine the rules that subtly govern every aspect of our lives. There are rules about how to talk and dress and show emotion and plan our weddings and raise children and the list keeps going.

Sometimes we choose to embrace the rules (I wanted a white dress, for example) and sometimes we have to intentionally step away from the rules to realize they don't make sense for us. And when we choose to step away, we should feel proud and courageous rather than insecure.

So here's to a proud and courageous life! (Whatever that looks like for you...)

Beck's birthday camping trip, Green Mountain National Forest and the Robert Frost trail, Ripton, Vermont, 2008

Grand Canyon during our Southwest tour (Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, Utah), 2008...when we officially knew that we should do this marriage thing!

Us out celebrating Sunni's 30th - Portland, Maine, 2009

Seaside in Portland, Maine, 2009

PHOTOS!!!

Radio City Music Hall Christmas Show, New York City, 2008

Details to share...

Hey there family and friends.

Happy almost spring! I'm recently back from California, cruisin' around in 50 degree temps...longing for that in VT right now.

Anyway, wedding details to share...
I changed the colors! I know, typical Becky move. We (I swear that Ben had input and agreed with the decision made!) decided to drop the purple, and roll with bright green accents, black, and white...should be stunning. Luckily, the only things ordered or purchased in purple were linens...just have to call the tent company and request a color change.

My dress came in! I'm so happy to see that this wedding fashion season is re-introducing a vintage style (i.e. lace, sleeves, ivory, beading). Now I won't stick out like a soar thumb! hint, hint

Flower girl Chelsea started shopping, which is exciting! And Jill (Ben's sister, officiant) found a super-cute suit for Isaiah (our Godson, Ben's nephew) - equally as exciting!

Started talking shower details with Katie...more to come on that, but July 25th seems to be the date thus far.

More menu talk with Mom happened. The cake is next, which means it's sample time! YUM.

Love to you all!
Hope to see you on or before 09/18/2010

Registry

In the middle of the recent blizzard (the one that someone how dropped 33inches on Chittenden County and missed us...), we decided to venture to Bed, Bath, and Beyond for all things wedding registry. And let me tell you, three hours of "we want this, we want that" is both entertaining and draining. We felt a bit selfish and completely spoiled by the entire process. Imagine if people actually got us all of this I kept thinking. Where would we put it? What would we do with the old stuff? We'd have some SERIOUS thank yous to say.

The Vera Wang dishes were too beautiful for me to pass up, I must admit. They had me at hello.

Save the Dates

Hi everyone! Those of you reading this get the inside scoop. We won't be sending save-the-dates. Initially, we hoped for a small wedding, but as the guest list came together, it grew, and grew, and grew. We are hoping that by not sending one, we might get a few less yeses (it that actually a word?). So, you'll get your invite next summer, but nuttin' until then!

Justin Bashaw

Reader
Marlboro, Massachusetts

Justin is one of Becky's closest and oldest friends. They met in high school, became fast friends, partied their way through college (Justin at UMass and Becky at Champlain), and have maintained a lasting friendship even though they've lived several hours apart for years. Justin is a teacher, working with Autistic students in Massachusetts and is also getting married (to the lovely Tiffany) this coming July. Becky will be reading in his wedding as well! So much love my dear friend. Looking forward to seeing what the future holds for both of us.

John-Eric Colley Robinson

Groomsman
Middlebury, Vermont

John-Eric is Ben's brother-in-law, father to Chelsea (our flower girl) and Isaiah (our Godson), and husband to Ben's sister, Jill. He has always made Becky feel like part of the family and for that, she and Ben are grateful. JE is an amazing Dad and a very important person in our lives. We can't wait to see you and the little man up front!! xoxo

AMERICAN FLATBREAD!!

It's official, our wedding guests will be munching on local, organic, flatbreads and we are SOOO excited!!